95 cm Yoga Ball & Breastfriend Pillow Are Must-Haves with a High Need Baby
by Christine L
Visistor's high need baby experience:
A 95 cm yoga ball and a breastfriend pillow are must haves with my baby, Lacey.
From day 1 she would not sleep anywhere else besides in my arms. From day 1 she would cry without movement.
Most of my existence has been holding her in my arms bouncing on this oversized ball with the breastfeeding pillow strapped around my waist as support.
I have a high needs baby.
Physiological functions of repair and rest that happen only in sleep - a full 90 minute sleep cycle for an adult human - I don't get to do this anymore.
Mental cognition is fu#&ed up. Memory, decision making, vocabulary. The social isolation is depressing but it's not like I can remember words or have conversations anyway and if I did my baby would be upset about the talking, upset about the driving to get to these social events.
Getting ready to leave the house, cleaning the house, doing anything other than bouncing and entertaining her in just the right rhythm to keep her in a good place .....
Why is she like this? Is it my diet? Did she have a traumatic birth? Is she in pain? Is she highly intelligent?
Tell me anything beneficial about high needs babies anything to give me hope to remind me how it's somehow better this way, that it will payback later all my agonizing crippling days of bouncing on this yoga ball while she sleeps. Always moving, always new stimuli. And I give her everything, all of myself.
One day she will be older and bigger and not need to be held and bounced and I will sleep and be able to function. She will be even more spirited and intense and still very much a high need kid but I will delight in her amazing ways and live to challenge and nurture her and I like to imagine that she will be exceptional because that's what she is right now - an exceptionally high needs baby.
Comment by Positive Parenting Ally
Thank you so much for sharing your experience.
Oh my, I remember those days myself, and you know what? In some respects I feel quite nostalgic, believe it or not. Yes, it was incredibly exhausting and I also remember the freedom I could feel just being able do the dishes in peace for 5 minutes while my high need baby was taking a rare nap.
But the intimacy, closeness and symbiotic relationship with this little demanding human was amazing. Pure (exhausting) unconditional love.
And yes, a yoga ball was one of my best friends, too, bouncing up and down, up and down, up and down ...
I think your baby is a very lucky baby. She's so fortunate to have a mama that gives her all of herself. Giving her all of you is the best gift, you can offer her. It feels hard, but right, doesn't it? And that's really all that matters in my experience. Does it feel right? Does it bring me closer to love.
So hang in there, Christine. It will change. :-) It will be less demanding. You may not notice it when it happens as it's probably going to be gradual but at some point you will realize; hey, it's not as hard as it used to be. I had that realization when my son was around 3 months old. And from then on, it slowly got less and less demanding. :-)
Thanks also for sharing a photo; she's absolutely adorable.
I wish you all the best,