I cannot write my story because it is too painful and just got much worse. If you think that yours is horrible and painful, I feel for you and hope my story will make you feel like things could be worse.
I will tell it, but the last two times I did, I didn't get help. Tania is a case of my mother who has called a 5150 when I was sleeping and said I was trying to kill myself to police as they walked in my room to restrain me she said I was unconscious.
I woke up and defended myself. I was beaten and taken to jail. This was because I would not give up my 85 thousand dollar a year job which I had gotten and was looking forward to starting.
I was currently a senior in college. She was getting more and more nervous as graduation came near. I was leader of a speech and debate team, but she hated all my awards and records and wanted me to become a catholic priest even though I was no longer catholic.
Previously she has kept me from friends, was in hospital for 2 years and I found out she was telling my fiends that I did not want to see them.
She told me that she could no longer call me her son if I did not go, and I said ok. Then she had me arrested from my hospital bed for apparently making “threats to take my life".
I had said, "I’m taking my life back”. She viewed this as her being murdered. She did not want to think about me happy, and so I still have not graduated.
I was dropped from my job position, and my mother made sure I had no access to the house or any food or medical coverage when I got out of hospital.
She called and cancelled my medical, and when I called to complain, the police claimed I was crazy and got several letters from a woman claiming to be my mother saying I was split personality b cause the real me wanted to become a priest.
I cannot show emotion anymore, because it gets to a point of rage very quickly. I have very severe health issues from a near stroke and mini stroke when I’m only 31 and was a college athlete.
~ Dylan ~
Positive Parenting Ally's comment:
I'm so sorry that you are in so much pain. It sounds like you are in a really rough spot.
You say that you will tell your story "but the last two times I did, I didn't get help.".
So I see this as cry for help. My best advice would be for you to reach out to someone you can talk to in person or over the telephone, preferably a professional, a therapist of some sort. This is too big for you to be alone with.
You write that you are from the San Francisco area, so I found this link online: San Francisco Health Board, where there are several phone numbers to call if you have a psychiatric crisis.
I really hope you will reach out and find someone to talk to and who may help you through this.