• Looking for conscious high-level, yet practical positive parenting tips?
• To me these 10 parenting tips or parental guidelines have made my everyday life easier and a lot more pleasurable (I hope they will for you, too!) ...
• ... Also, these tips on parenting are deeply rooted in a children empowerment philosophy aiming at fuelling kids with genuine high self esteem!
Many parents go through life unaware of how much their unconscious actions and choices affect their kids.
One of the very first steps to conscious parenting and children empowerment is noticing what we're actually doing.
Trying to pay attention to how we are talking to our child, how we handle conflicts, what ideas and norms we live by etc.
Why is this awareness so important?
Because our child is like a living copying machine!
Whatever our child sees us being and doing: For instance, the energy we emit, our communication skills, our coping strategies, our way reasoning, our type of presence, our general attitude to life and so on and so forth our child will to a large degree copy this.
It's logical, it's what children do!
... Our kid will give us these exact actions and coping strategies right back in our own faces, smack!
Therefore firmly storing the knowledge of "my child is a copying machine" in back of our heads can actually be really helpful (even though the metaphor is somewhat odd!)
Every time we feel challenged, it can be a good idea to return to this metaphor or higher awareness insight. This awareness will help us turn our behavior around to something more positive and thereby help us empower our kids rather disempowering them.
The following 10 parenting tips are based in this knowledge of "What you give is what you get"!
These tips on parenting are about giving your children empowerment, in terms of respect, understanding, a degree of autonomy, unconditional love and support.
Our kids are often very, very sensitive and susceptible to our own mental state.
They're like clean slates - they just 'suck in' whatever mood you give them. And the younger they are, the more they just readily take in what you give them.
For instance, if I feel that: "Jeez, my son is difficult today." Chances are that most likely he has sucked up some of my own 'stressed' or 'negative' energy.
So being conscious of your own mood and behavior and making a choice as to what you want to transmit to your kid is one of the first steps in conscious and positive parenting
Here are more positive parenting tips on positive attitude:
Not only may we view our child as copying machine - the universe is also a big copying machine.
And it works like this: Whatever you focus on, you'll get! It's almost like a natural law!
So if you have positive expectations of your child, he or she will do his or her best to live up to them.
However, it also goes the other way around: If you expect your child to disobey you, your clever kid will sense this lack of trust and 'obey' your unsaid intentions: You'll get what you expect!
So in a way this about choice! Your choice as to what you want!
Here are more parenting tips about positive expectations:
The beliefs in our head are powerful - in both good and bad ways.
Unfortunately they often work like an invisible software virus that guides our actions without us knowing what is going on. You could say that we're like puppets! And I'm really not exaggerating!
Often these beliefs are just general norms and rules that are inefficient and - sorry to use the word - downright stupid!
When your child revolts against your idea (e.g. doesn't feel like shopping every single afternoon after kindergarden) - your child is actually doing you a favor by forcing you to rethink your belief and its right for further existence!
Here are more positive parenting tips about positive beliefs:
However, by including your child in the process of decision making and letting your kid have some degree of say, you actually teach your child the skill of responsibility of making choices.
By letting your kid choose, you allow your kid to learn how the power of their gut feeling works and to trust the signals of their own intuition and bodies. This skill is incredibly valuable in adult life!
Here are more positive parenting tips about positive trust and inclusion:
It can either open up the world with possibilities and potential of fun or lock it down with limitations and bans.
Here are some positive parenting tips about positive language:
Often when our child is angry or cranky it's because he or she has a need (e.g. attention, acceptance, hunger, fatigue, touch etc.) that he or she needs us to fulfil.
By trying to put yourself in your child's shoes and trying to understand your kid's actions from his or her perspective, you're taking your child seriously. This is the basic recipe of respect!
Here are some positive parenting tips about positive empathy:
This then becomes a belief your child will also declare at home. Therefore the easy way out for you might be to say: "No, there are no onions in the meatloaf", well knowing your kid will not be able to taste them!
This strategy might work to get your child to eat right then and there, but at some point your child will find out you're lying and what has your kid learnt then: "It's okay to lie if it makes life instantly easier for me." Probably not such a good thing to pass on!
Here are some positive parenting tips about positive honesty:
However, what they don't see is that if they give their child respect, they will respect right back.
Here are some positive parenting tips about positive respect!
Your full presence is probably one of the most powerful tools you have as a parent - deep, accepting presence is seeing your child as he or she really is which is therapeutically recognized as deeply healing (go here to read more about the power of the unconditional positive regard in parenting.
I don't necessarily agree. By praising actions, your child may come to think that affection comes from doing well: "If I behave and impress my parents I will get positive attention". This 'programs' your child to tend to seek praise because that is where he or she has learnt an award awaits: namely feeling seen and admired!
However, unconditional support - supporting who your child IS - is another matter completely.
Here are some positive parenting tips about positive support:
I hope these 10 positive parenting tips of how to give your children empowerment were of use to you and could help in some way.
If you're looking to go even more in-depth and really work with some of the issues I've touched upon in this article (the mirror effect, limiting beliefs, unconditional support and respect, expectations etc.) you might really like parent coach Christina Fletcher's spiritual awareness course (affiliate link).
This course is for both parents and kids and has, among other things, wonderful exercises for increasing your and your kids' self awareness while allowing for powerful self expression.
I've been through the course myself and my son also participated. It was such a joy. You can read my very detailed review of it here.
Your Positive Parenting Ally,
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